An ongoing tale, a vague ending
by Serenity012
Summary: Natsume & Mikan are already together for many years, as some trials and temptations come into their way will they be able to make it through or will these  be the cause of them breaking apart. - title changed as previous title doesn't suit the whole story
1. Chapter 1: Bonding

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of its Characters**

**Chapter 1: Bonding **

**Normal POV**

Near the fountain in Central town, the two best-friends, Mikan and Hotaru decided to meet for shopping.

Hotaru was already irritable as Mikan was again late (as always ).

When Mikan arrived near the agreed place she saw Hotaru seating at the bench beside the fountain and run up to her screaming "HOTARUUUUUUUUUUU", when Hotaru heard the scream of her best friend she stood up and face the direction where the voice came from.

For a second, Mikan thought she saw Hotaru curve her lips a little up like a smile and seeing this she fastened her pace and run with full speed to her best-friend, what she didn't know is the curving of Hotaru's lips upward was her giving her a smirk and Mikan wasn't able to see Hotaru's eyes that was filled with irritation.

**Mikan's POV**

When I saw my best-friend Hotaru sitting in the bench beside the fountain where we agreed to meet to go shopping today at Central Town I immediately screamed her name "HOTARUUUUUUUUUUU", as I ran to her hoping she was not mad at me, which she probably is right now, knowing her she doesn't want to wait and I was already 15minutes late.

I prayed to God that Hotaru will let me out alive once I get near her.

When Hotaru heard my scream, she stood up from the bench and faced my direction.

For a second there, I thought I saw her smile so again I dashed and ran full speed to her to try to hug her, but what I missed to see was that the smile was really a smirk and her eyes were showing signs of irritation.

Still running, I saw her pull something out of her bag and before I could even react "BAKA, BAKA, BAKA" I was hit with her Baka gun and I was sent flying to the nearest sakura tree hitting my face on its trunk.

I saw Hotaru walked to me with a stoic face (her usual, we know ) and said

"You know I hate waiting and still you came late, that's what you deserve you Baka"

Now what I didn't expect is for her to offer her hand to help me stand up and once I'm up on my two feet the most shocking part is what Hotaru did, she spread her arms open and looking at me

Being dumbfounded by the action of my best-friend I stood there gaping at her, mouth wide open and head tilted to the side, and then she said

"Are you just going to stand there gaping at me or would you rather hug your best-friend?"

Once she said this, I was snapped out of my trance and quickly hug her saying "I miss you so much Hotaru!"

Then I released her from my bear hug then I drag her to the shops in Central Town.

"Ne, Hotaru?"

"Yeah, what is it you baka?" Hotaru said

"Mouu Hotaru you meanie, anyways I really want to go to this shop to buy this shirt that I really, really like, would you like to come with me tomorrow?"

"Hmmm…" Hotaru hummed as she was considering my request

"Besides… We will be going there after the lunch together with Natsume, Ruka, Aoi, Youichi, Natsume's parents, some of our friends and…. My parents" I said the last part as a whisper.

**Hotaru's POV**

I was thinking in considering the request of my Baka best-friend to go with her again tomorrow to buy this shirt she really liked, when I was about to object and say I don't want to go then

"Besides… We will be going there after the lunch together with Natsume, Ruka, Aoi, Youichi, Natsume's parents, some of our friends and…. My parents" Mikan said the last part where her parents will be joining the lunch was said as a whisper.

I know Mikan didn't have a good relationship with her mother as she was always being ignored and all the attention was given to her brother Youichi, even her brother noticed this so he was giving all the love he could give to her elder sister.

"OK, I'll come with you tomorrow in your lunch with everyone, and also go shopping again with you tomorrow besides my boyfriend is there so I won't miss a chance on capturing any single embarrassing moments of his" I said this with money signs in my eyes

"Yehey... thank you so much Hotaru, I really, really love you, and you're really my best-friend" Mikan said with delight ignoring the words I mentioned about my boyfriend Ruka.

Seeing her happy, I cannot help but smile. But again, after sometime I returned in looking as stoic as ever, I'm not the Ice Queen if that smile will go wider and longer than 5 seconds.

**Normal POV**

After a lot of shopping, as both were already tired, Hotaru and Mikan went to the café; they took the place near the window and sat there admiring the view of the Sakura trees, where the leaves and flowers are dancing with the wind.

As the waiter came near them, he flashed them a smile and took their order.

"What will you two beautiful ladies have?" the waiter asked their orders

"I will have a cappuccino and a Crab Cake" Hotaru demanded in a firm voice (does Crab Cake even exist?)

The waiter sweat-dropped at this but still wrote down Hotaru's order then he turned to Mikan and waited for her order

"I will have a strawberry cake and chocolate shake, that's all and thank you very much" Mikan gave her order and flashed the waiter her smile which made him blush and immediately left to get their order.

Once their order arrived they started eating taking their time while Mikan keep on mumbling an telling her stories, noticing that her best-fiend is spacing out she asked

"Mouu Hotaru, you aren't even listening to my stories, is there something wrong?"

Hotaru snapped out of her reverie and stared at Mikan with a serious face

"Mikan, when do you plan on telling them?"

Mikan got confused of what Hotaru was saying but after sometime realized it and made a serious but sad face

"Well Hotaru, to tell you the truth, I still haven't decided on that yet, they cannot know about my condition, specially not Natsume"

"Mikan, you are being unfair to him, sooner or later he will find out about your condition, the doctor said there is only a 50% chance for you to survive the operation, which as you might have forget is scheduled in 2 weeks time" Hotaru said in a sad tone, as she cannot bear to imagine that here best-friend will not survive the operation.

Mikan held her hand and said in a soft voice and a gentle smile

"Don't worry Hotaru, I can and will survive that operation specially for you, Youichi and Natsume, I don't want to leave you guys and you know I am strong and knowing you love and care for me is making me much stronger, I know in 2 weeks time you will be there for me, waiting outside the operating room and when I get out, I will be greeting you with the biggest smile ever and I'll say to you that everything is alright now, so no need to worry ok and there is no need to tell them, it's already making me sad that you know as it is making you sad so I don't want them to be sad about it"

Hearing those words from her best-friend Hotaru cannot help but smile a very small smile, while a tear drop rolled down her cheeks and she squeezed her hands gently

"You are very strong for a Baka, but remember I will always be there for you no matter what"

With this both of them finished their food and went home.

Mikan is already leaving with her fiancé Natsume, so when Hotaru arrived she insisted that Hotaru take one of the guest rooms in their apartment as Ruka was also staying in there with them.

When they arrived home, Mikan and Hotaru entered and they saw on the living room the other two best-friends, their boyfriends Natsume and Ruka.

Seeing both ladies enter the door, both guys stood up and kissed their cheeks welcoming them and asking regarding their day out shopping.

"So Polka, how's shopping with the Ice Queen?" Natsume asked with a smirk in his face while eyeing his girlfriend and Hotaru aka Ice Queen

"Jerk" came out Hotaru's response

"Mouu, Natsume, will you please stop with the Polka, for goodness sake how many years has it been and until now you still call me that"

"Ok I'll stop calling you Polka, so answer my question now, how was you day with the Ice Queen Ichigo-Kara?" Natsume again asked still the smirk on his face

"Egotistical jerk, oi bunny boy, if ever you turned out to be like your jerk of a best-friend I will break up with you and will literally break you!" was Hotaru's sharp reply glaring at Natsume while switching glances to Ruka

Ruka gulped and answered "Why am I being included in your argument? I was being quiet here the whole time, don't be like that Hotaru, and Natsume, please stop teasing Hotaru for me, as she is including me in her vendetta against you"

The whole time Mikan was laughing when suddenly she remembered

"Natsume no HENTAIIIII" screamed Mikan as she remembered what Natsume again called her

"Tsk, took you long enough to notice" was the quick answer of her boyfriend still with a smirk in his face

"Anyways, you pervert, my day with Hotaru was superb, we went to a lot of shops and bought a lot of dresses and tomorrow all of us will go shopping after the lunch with everyone"

"Hn" was Natsume's great reply

Then all decided to take their dinner, the four of them enjoying the dinner while Mikan again told stories and Ruka was laughing at her stories while the two stoic persons Natsume and Hotaru only had small smiles on their faces while listening to her stories.

When suddenly Mikan kept quiet and clutched her chest, Hotaru seeing these knows the reason but for the two guys they didn't know what happened

"Polka, are you alright, what's happening to you? You're suddenly too quiet? are you in pain? Where does it hurt?" Natsume asked in a very worried voice while Ruka stared at Mikan with a worried look

Trying to hide the pain Mikan said

"Really I'm OK, I just need uhmm... ahhh... some water... I'm kinda choking here so please get me some water" as she took the water from Ruka who immediately got the water once she said she needs to drink

"Gosh Polka, don't make us worried like that" Natsume sighed as they continue eating

But still Hotaru was very worried with her best-friend and she knows that its time to take her medicine

"Oi baka Neko, Mikan will be staying in my room tonight and bunny boy here will be staying in your room got that!" Hotaru said with finality in her voice

"Whatever" was Natsume's reply as he knows that the two girls have a lot of catching up to do

"But Hotaru?" was the protest of Ruka unfortunately his girlfriend glared at her indicating that he should follow so he sighed and said "Well mate, it's the two of us in your living room tonight, movies or video games?" was Ruka's final words of acceptance

"Yehey... I'm staying with Hotaru tonight" was the brunette's reply

"Baka Polka, it seems like you don't want to be beside me at all" was the sudden words of Natsume with hints of disappointment

"Mouu Natsume, it's not like that, it's just that I haven't seen Hotaru for a month and we have a lot of catching up to do, besides you know I love you and wants to be beside you all the time"

Said Mikan while hugging and kissing his boyfriend on the cheeks while a blushing Ruka and a stoic Hotaru was eyeing them as if saying to get a room

Once finished, Hotaru immediately dragged Mikan in her room and made her seat

"I know that look a while ago, where are your medicines, it's time for you to take them, your over tiring yourself and not taking your medicine today" was Hotaru's strict words

"The medicines are in that drawer, I keep them here as I know Natsume will not bother to check anything here as we barely have guests so as to avoid him finding out about my heart condition."

Hotaru took the medicine from the drawer and gave it to Mikan and immediately she took the medicines and chatted with Hotaru until they fell asleep.

Please review..

I know the story seems like the same with the others but this is my first fanfic so please bear with me. I got this story from too much reading of Gakuen Alice fanfic then one night I had this dream (the plot of my dream is on the next chapters), and poof... I wanted to publish it, so I added some of the plots... hehehe... please be nice for first timers...thanks


	2. Chapter 2: Heart Break

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of its Characters**

**Chapter 2: Heart Break**

Author: Ill be skipping after the lunch

**Normal POV**

After the lunch, everyone decided accompany the ladies in shopping aside from Natsume and Mikan's fathers. As they stroll around Central Town, as promised Hotaru accompanied Mikan in buying the shirt she really liked, unfortunately everyone tag along with them including Mikan's mom. Ignoring that fact, they continue to go into the shop

The others went on their separate ways on the shop while Hotaru, Youichi and Mikan was at the corner of the shop looking for the shirt Mikan liked

"Ne, Hotaru this is the shirt I really liked, does it suit me?" Mikan asked here best-friend

"For a baka, it will suit you!" Hotaru answered with a small smile teasing her best-friend

"Mouu, Hotaru, you're so mean, anyways I'm still getting these" Mikan stated while pouting at Hotaru which Hotaru and Youichi find it adorable and irresistible

"Ne, nee-chan, do you want me to ask mom to buy that for you?" Youichi asked her older sister as he grabbed the shirt her sister is showing

"No need You-chan I can manage, I have already saved enough for this shirt anyways" Mikan answered a bit sad knowing that if Youichi asked their mother to buy anything for her in will all be futile.

"Nonsense nee-chan, I'll just take this to Mom" as Youichi grabbed the shirt his sister liked Hotaru eyed Mikan as she saw the disappointed look on her face

"Don't worry, maybe there will be a sudden change of heart from you mother" Hotaru mentioned unsurely

_**Going to Youichi and their Mom:**_

"Hey okaa-san!" Youichi called his mother

"Yes You-chan?" His mom answered him with a happy tone

Youichi pulled up the shirt and showed it to her mother

"Will you buy this shirt for nee-chan okaa-san?" Youichi asked her mother with a hopeful face unfortunately what her mother said and reaction is not what he expected

"You-chan, did your sister asked you to ask me to buy that for her? Anyways tell her I'm not going to buy it" His mother told him in a bit loud voice and a sour face

"No okaa-san, nee-chan wanted to pay for this as she already saved enough for it only I insisted to ask you to buy it for her" You-chan answered and made his way back to his sister with a disappointed face

"Anyway, You-chan better pick something you like ok, so we can pay for it already, we still have to visit Natsume's apartment where your sister is leaving right now as your Aunt requested" His mom said loudly as he was already far from her.

_**Back to Mikan and Hotaru:**_

"I should have stopped You-chan to go to okaa-san for that shirt, I knew this will happen, it is so embarrassing for everyone to hear" Mikan said in a sad tone.

"I knew this was coming, your mother has quite some attitude" Hotaru stated

"You-chan is coming, I have to smile to show it didn't affect me" Mikan thought

"Hey nee-chan, okaa-san said she cannot buy this for you as she doesn't have enough cash with her right now!" Youichi lied with a sad smile as he thought Mikan didn't hear what their mom said.

"Well, it's ok You-chan, I told you I have saved enough money for it, thank you anyways, say thanks to okaa-san also and tell her I understand, no need to be disappointed ok… wipe that sad look out of your face You-chan, we came here to enjoy!" Mikan said as she faked the smile and went hyper again

"That Baka, I know she's hurt and pretending to smile to show everything is ok so that her brother won't worry about her" Hotaru thought while watching the two siblings talk

"Okaa-san is really unfair to nee-chan, I know that she's just forcing that smile so I'll think that she's ok" Youichi thought as he took a glance at his sister while also faking a smile.

They went around the store to look for any other things they can buy while Hotaru saw a white high heel sandal

"That sandals really suit that Baka best-friend of mine together with the shirt she wants to buy, I'll give it to her as a gift so that for a moment she will be really happy and forget the disappointment her mother caused her" Hotaru thought

As they went to the cashier, Mikan paid for the shirt and immediately went to the changing room to change in to it as she was really excited to wear the shirt

As Mikan went to the changing room, Hotaru paid for the sandals and waited for Mikan to come out

"Here Baka, a gift from me, wear this now, it will match the shirt you are wearing!" Hotaru said while handing over to Mikan the paper bag containing the sandals

"Oh Hotaru, you shouldn't have bothered in buying me these, but thank you so much I really appreciate it" Mikan answered while giving Hotaru the most sincere smile

"Only for you Mikan, I always want to see your smile" Hotaru thought

"Oh Hotaru, these are so cute… I really, really like it… thank you so much Hotaru" Mikan squealed with joy

All of them went out the store and are now on their way to Natsume and Mikan's apartment, all of them walked there as it is only a short distance from where they took their lunch and shopping

As they entered the lobby of the building a lot of fan-girls squealed

"Kyaa, Natsume-sama and Ruka-sama are coming" the fan-girls shouted at the same time glaring at Mikan and Hotaru but quickly backed away as they saw the Ice Queen glare at them and was about to pull-out something from her bag

But one didn't bother to pull back; it's none other than the slut Luna Koizumi who was currently wearing a black micro mini skirt, a knee-high high heeled black boots, a black sleeveless blouse with the two top buttons were undone showing her red lacy bra

"Hi there Natsume, Ruka, how are my two most handsome men doing" Luna said with a sickly sweet smile and a flirtiest tone while clinging on to Natsume's neck

"Oi slut, get away from our boyfriends if you don't want to be hit by my Baka Bazooka!" Hotaru told her as she took out the Baka Bazooka out of her bag and pointed it at Luna angrily.

"Hotaru is gonna kill me later if I don't take distance from Luna" Ruka thought as he continue to gulp scared of what Hotaru might do to him later

What is unexpected was what and shocking was what Natsume said and done

"Hmmmm… nice bra you have there Koizumi, red lacy undergarments" Natsume stated as he smirk and lick his lips seductively

Hotaru, Ruka and the others were shocked to what Natsume was doing as he was flirting with Luna in front of Mikan so they all looked at Mikan to see no reaction from her.

"How, how could Natsume do this to me, doesn't he love me, how could he flirt with that slut in front of me?" Mikan though while putting up a stoic face not showing any emotions as to not show her weakness to her friends, family and the slut

"Well lover boy, better continue this next time, your little girl of a girlfriend is looking at us, see you soon" Luna said while pointing at Mikan then bidding her goodbye to Natsume while kissing his cheeks

"Damn, what the hell was the matter with me, why did I flirt with that slut in front of Polka, there will be war later I can sense it, she didn't even react, I'll just say sorry to Mikan later and tell her I was not thinking this time" Natsume thought nervously but still keeping up the façade of having no emotion.

As all of them near the elevator, the confrontation started

"What the hell was that Natsume, how could you flirt with Luna?" Mikan asked with an angry voice demanding an explanation from Natsume

Natsume being Natsume again let his pride get in his way of apologizing and say the things he didn't mean to say

"What the hell Polka, it's not like I slept with or anything, I just complimented her undergarments as she has good taste unlike you who still wears childish underwear, besides I live here so I can do and say whatever I want and whenever I want" Natsume angrily answered

"Well, may I remind you as it might have slipped your genius mind, that I'm currently living with you and I am your girlfriend, doesn't that sound a bell that I also have the right to question your acts with that slut a while ago" Mikan said raising her voice as she already lost her temper

"Damn that Hyuuga, I'll make sure to make him suffer for doing this to Mikan, if anything happens to her I'm gonna make sure he regrets it all his life" Hotaru thought angrily

"Mikan calm down, it's not good for you to be emotionally unstable, it's not good for your health" again Hotaru thought

"Mikan calm down, I'm sure Natsume didn't mean to flirt with Koizumi a while ago, right Natsume?" Ruka said as he tried to calm Mikan and looking at his best-friend asking him silently to take back all his hurtful words

"Whatever Ruka, let's just talk later little girl if you already calm down" Natsume said while entering the elevator where Koko, Kitsu, Mochu, Yuu and Aoi were already waiting.

"So are you coming or not, everyone is waiting" Natsume again said with an annoyed tone

"You go on ahead, I don't want to ride with a jerk like you" Mikan snapped and glared at Natsume

"Ruka just go with them now, I'll take care of Mika" Hotaru ordered her boyfriend

"Do what you like, we'll talk later" Natsume said but with a hint of regret in his tone

Then the elevator door closed and then Ruka spoke

"Natsume, you shouldn't have done that with Luna in front of everyone specially Mikan or even without us, you really hurt Mikan with that kind of act" Ruka said with a bit of anger in his voice

"Ruka-nii is right onii-chan, you should have considered her feelings when she saw you act like that, she love's you very much" Aoi stated

"Well, Natsume as much as we want to take your side, they do have a point Mikan was hurt" Kitsu said

"Being a playboy is so you Natsume but take some consideration for your girlfriend if you really loved her" Koko said

"Yes Natsume and the worst is instead of saying sorry to her you acted like a complete jerk and hurt her more!" Ruka scolded him

"Will every one of you just shut up, I know all of that already that is why I'm going to talk to her later" Natsume stated with an angry voice at first.

"Let's just hope it's not too late for you to apologize nii-chan and hope that Mikan-nee won't break up with you" Aoi stated

**Back to Mikan and the others in the lobby**

In the lobby, everyone was trying to comfort Mikan aside from her mom who just stood there looking at them like nothing happened.

"He just went ahead, as if nothing happened, no sorry. Well I guess he didn't really love me or he is tired of me, I just can't think properly now, I want to get away for now!" Mikan thought

"Mikan, are you alright, better get up to the apartment, just stay in my room until I completely make your jerk of a boyfriend suffer for being so heartless" Hotaru said

"Yes nee-chan, just take a rest you're tired now, I'll also make Natsume-nii pay for hurting you!" Youichi said with a concerned voice at first then an angry tone

"Oh Mikan, please forgive my son, I know he didn't mean it, he can be such a brat sometimes, we know he loves you so much, I'll just smack him in the head later to bring him back to his senses" Natsume's mom said

Still Mikan kept silent

"Mikan, maybe Natsume was just not thinking properly, just talk to him later ok" Anna said

"Yeah Mikan, just let your heads cool down and talk to each other privately so you can sort it out" Nonoko said

"What is there to talk about, he was a complete jerk, if my boyfriend acted that way all hell will break loose and I will break his neck" Sumire said and everyone glared at her

"What I'm just saying what I will do, ok fine, just be considerate with Natsume Mikan, you've been together for a long time don't let that ruin your relationship with him, just talk it through" Sumire again said

"For goodness sake, are we just going to stand here or are we going up to the apartment, and Mikan stop with all your drama" Mikan's mom interrupted

That's when Mikan snapped

"Drama, do you think this is all drama okaa-san , for once be sensitive, have you ever heard anything from me even when you ignore me or don't care about me, I haven't said anything and pretended that everything is alright, I know you don't love me, I know you prefer to have only You-chan as your child but I didn't bother with that, for once be a mother and be sensitive, you have seen me now being heart broken and all you can say is stop this drama, I hate you okaa-san" Mikan shouted while tears flowing down her cheeks that left her mom dumbstruck and stare at the lobby floor

Mikan walked to the door and silently whispered to Hotaru

"I'm just gonna have to walk for a little while, no need for you to wait here just go up the apartment and also take okaa-san, she must be shocked by my sudden outburst" Mikan said

"But Mikan…" Hotaru tried to stop her but Mikan cut her off

"No Hotaru, I'll be back I promise, I just need sometime alone away from okaa-san and Natsume" Mikan said in a whisper

"Okay" Hotaru answered while she looked at Mikan removing the sandals she gave and carrying it on her arms while she walked out barefooted

The others still dumbstruck at the sudden outburst of Mikan came back to reality when she was already out of sight

Seeing his sister go out so depressed Youichi was about to run after when Hotaru stopped him

"No Youichi, your sister needs to be alone, just let her be" Hotaru stated sadly

"But Hotaru-nee…" Youichi tried to reason out but was cut-off

"No Youichi, she needs this, she promised to comeback, you know Mikan never makes promises that she can't keep… now let's go up the apartment as she said and I'll deal with that Baka Neko" Hotaru said with finality

They went in the elevator and went up the apartment with everyone inside including Mikan's mom who was still pondering at what her daughter said

Once they reach the apartment, the door was unlocked and all of them entered seeing that everyone else was sitting in the living room staying quiet.

**Natsume's POV**

All of us were sitting quietly in the living room, no one even tried to ease the tension building up ever since my argument with Mikan in lobby.

As the apartment door open, I quickly scanned all the people that entered, waiting anxiously for my Mikan to enter so I can grab her In our room and talk and apologize to her in private, but all I saw were angry faces of Youichi, my mom and Hotaru, the sad faces of Sumire, Nonoko and Anna and lastly the grimaced look from Mikan's mom.

"Oi Imai, where is that little girl?" I asked Hotaru of Mikan's where about

"Don't you go using that tone with me Hyuuga, and why the hell should I tell you where she is? So you can hurt her again?" said Hotaru in an angry tone

"Just tell me where the hell is Mikan, I have the right to know damn it?" I snapped and raised my voice as I asked Hotaru where Mikan is, I'm getting really worried about her and I really want to say sorry

"Don't go using that tone to Hotaru-nee Natsume-nii, you hurt already hurt my nee-chan and that is unforgivable" Youichi told me with an angry voice

"Right?, you're saying you have the right to know where she is claiming you're her boyfriend, but what I saw in the lobby and from you're argument, I can say that from then on, you don't have any right to call her as your girlfriend, maybe you should just cut all your relations with her and let her be, then you flirt with that slut Koizumi all you want!" Hotaru told me with venom and pure anger in her voice

I was taken a back by her words; everyone was silent as Hotaru made her way to the window while saying all those words to me, it made me speechless, I know she's right, the way I acted a while ago doesn't really give me the right to be Mikan' boyfriend but I really want to say sorry to Mikan, I didn't really mean everything I did at the lobby.

"It's about to rain, that Baka doesn't have any umbrella… She's outside taking a stroll better follow her and bring an umbrella… bring her back safe and sound, you better apologize to her when you find her, I better see her smiling when she comes back with you, go now… before it's too late" Hotaru said in a calm manner, but the last part almost a whisper, everyone was puzzled on what she said on the last part but I have no time to waste.

I quickly stood up, and dashed out of the apartment and into the elevator on my way to find my Mikan and apologize, I want her to come back to me, I want her in my arms and smiling at me. While in the elevator I really have this bad feeling about what Hotaru said, what did she mean by "before it's too late", it gives me this weird feeling that she is not implying about Mikan breaking up with me, it feels weird but I think it is more than that.


	3. Chapter 3: Letting Go

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of its Characters**

**Chapter 3: Letting Go**

**Mikan's POV**

As I went out from the building barefooted, my sandals hanging from my arms, walking around the sidewalks in the streets, still I couldn't help to reminisce all my happy moments with Natsume, the very first time I saw a different side him which made me like him more than a friend

_Flashback:_

_It has been months since I broke up with my first boyfriend, to be exact it has been 9months since that night when my first boyfriend told me that we should go on our separate ways, the reason he said its because it was his fault and he needs to find himself, and if we were really meant it be then after sometime we will be again together._

_Lately, I was hearing things from our friends that the real reason of our break up is because of me, he said to our friends that I was so clingy, gets jealous of every single things and because I was so childish. Even so, I believed him, I waited for him. _

_When the new school year started, I saw him holding hands with one of our friends, I was a bit shocked but I didn't let it get to me, I told myself "they are just close friends Mikan, she is his best-friend so no need to be jealous, just trust in him". I set it aside and continued on waiting._

_9 months have passed I was already losing hope and willing to let go, but some part of me was still attached to him so I still waited, today was the day of the festival and we were all invited to my new friend's house, his name was Natsume._

_At first Natsume was ignoring every girls coming into his house even us, saying they are so annoying and are just a bunch of fan girls, only my group of girl friends wasn't swooning over him as we all had boyfriends which was now his friends, well my friends have and I was still waiting. I asked my best friend Hotaru if __**He **__will be coming and she answered "__**Yes, but better prepare your self!"**__ I was wondering what she meant but I think Natsume already had the idea, some of our friends already told him of my story and I know they know something I don't, now thinking of the words Hotaru said I kinda got a hunch and to tell you the truth that hunch is not good at all._

_Natsume suddenly asked me to go to his room where all of my friends are currently chatting and asked me to just rest there in his bed as I was suddenly not feeling well because of my hunch, which of course didn't go unnoticed by Natsume. He suddenly changed his attitude towards me and escorted me to his room. Everyone was sitting there chatting while I lay on Natsume's bed my back facing everyone._

_After sometime I heard a voice in the living room, the voice I was longing to hear and I can feel everyone is taking a glance at me even if my back was facing them, I was about to get up to welcome him but what caught me off guard is what Natsume did, he came into his room, sat on the bed beside me leaned his head near my ear and whispered "Don't get up, just stay there, whatever happens or whatever you hear don't move from there, just listen to me and pretend your asleep, I won't leave you, I'll stay beside you until this is all done" then he took my hand and squeezed it, now I know everything will fall apart, what I dreaded was coming._

_**You couldn't say  
Needed someone new  
You actually thought  
Deep inside I knew**_

_As Natsume said I pretended to be asleep, a moment later I heard __**him**__ enter Natsume's room I took a quick glance and that's all I needed for everything to sink in my head, with __**him**__ was another girl, __**he**__ introduced introduce her as __**his **__girlfriend, I was hearing everything but as Natsume said, I pretended to sleep, taking all the pain, no I won't cry, Natsume all this time held my hands and when he feels I'm about to cry, he squeezed it implying for me not to cry now, show them you are strong. I heard __**him **__ask "what is the matter with her, why is she sleeping?" and our friends answered that I was not feeling well. _

_**Can you tell me how can you say  
Why this should suffice  
You passed me by  
And your heart's as cold as ice  
(You passed me by)**_

_After sometime Natsume released his hold on my hand and asked __**him**__ and his girlfriend to go to the living room to eat. Once they were out, all of my friends stayed quiet and Natsume asked them to go in the living room also, everyone left and I heard him close the door and locked it._

_**Did you see me cry  
(Did you ask yourself why)  
Did you see me cry  
(Did you ask yourself how)  
Can you hear me cry  
(Did you ask yourself)  
Will we ever grow apart**_

"_Everyone is in the living room now, you can stop pretending to be asleep, and it's only me here" I heard Natsume say_

"_Thanks for being there and not leaving me!" I said in between my hiccups as I was obviously crying because of everything_

"_Wipe away your tears now, I want to see you smile, you look 3 times uglier when you cry!" Natsume teased me but I know he is trying to comfort me_

"_Shut up you, jerk" I said while punching him lightly in his arms, and I smiled a little as I heard from him what Hotaru was always saying to me._

"_At least you smiled a little, I know it hurts but now you can finally let go, he already moved on and it's also time for you to do the same" Natsume told me_

"_I know, I know, it's just that I was always hoping that he will fulfill his words, I waited and waited for him but all of it was futile, in the end he still didn't keep his words" I told him when I hugged him as I was sobbing, what can I do it hurts and I needed someone to be there to comfort me and Natsume was there, I know he was shock by the way his body reacted when I hugged him but he let it go and hugged me back._

_**Natsume's POV**_

_I didn't know what has gotten over me, but when I heard Mikan's story from our friends, I can't help but feel very protective of her. That guy already had a girlfriend and he doesn't have the decency to end it all with the girl he promised to be with together again._

"_Is __**he**__ coming today?" I heard Mikan asked Hotaru_

"_**Yes, but better prepare your self!" **__was Hotaru's straight-forward reply and by that answer I already knew what will be the effect on Mikan._

_I glanced at her and saw she finally realized what Hotaru said to her._

"_Really, what a dense girl" I thought_

_But after that I saw her shaking and her face pale so the feeling of protecting her came over me and I went to her._

"_Come with me to my room, all of our friends are already there chatting" I told Mikan_

_After sometime __**he **__arrived with his girlfriend, I can hear __**his **__voice in my living room looking for me, I know Mikan heard it as I saw her reaction which seems like she was about to get up to meet him._

_What I did was totally out of my character but I have to protect Mikan._

"_Don't get up, just stay there, whatever happens or whatever you hear don't move from there, just listen to me and pretend your asleep, I won't leave you, I'll stay beside you until this is all done" I told her while I took her hand and squeezed it._

_I knew Mikan followed what I said as she stayed there pretending to sleep, then after sometime __**he**__ entered my room and said __**his**__ hello's to everyone and finally introducing __**his **__girlfriend. I took a glance at Mikan and saw her take a quick look at __**him **__and that was all it takes for her to know everything; I know she was about to cry on what she saw and what she was hearing from __**him**__ so I squeezed her hand every now and then sending her the message of be strong and don't cry now._

"_What is the matter with her, why is she sleeping" __**he **__asked_

"_Mikan is not feeling well so we let her rest" our friends answered for Mikan_

_After sometime, I know Mikan wants to release all the pain she was feeling so I let go of her hand and asked __**him **__and __**his**__ girlfriend to go to the living room to eat._

_After they left, our friends was really quiet as they knew the situation, so I also asked them to go to the living room, signaling to them that I'll talk to Mikan._

"_Take care of her" Hotaru whispered to me as she was the last one who left the room_

_I closed the door and locked it and I know Mikan knew this as I saw her body move a bit._

"_Everyone is in the living room now, you can stop pretending to be asleep, and it's only me here" I told her_

"_Thanks for being there and not leaving me!" Mikan said in between her hiccups as she was obviously crying because of everything_

"_Wipe away your tears now, I want to see you smile, you look 3 times uglier when you cry!" I teased her as I really didn't know what to say or how to comfort her in this kind of situation_

"_Shut up you, jerk" she said to me while punching me lightly in the arms, and she smiled a little_

"_At least you smiled a little, I know it hurts but now you can finally let go, he already moved on and it's also time for you to do the same" I told her in a soft but serious tone_

"_I know, I know, it's just that I was always hoping that he will fulfill his words, I waited and waited for him but all of it was futile, in the end he still didn't keep his words" were Mikan's words, while saying that she suddenly hugged me while sobbing and I was a bit shocked but I let it go as I know she needs to let all her pain out so I hugged her back and silence engulfed us_

"_But you know Natsume…" she suddenly said after the long silence her head tilted upwards looking at me_

"_It really didn't hurt that much, as far as from how I expected it to hurt" she continued_

_I tilted my head towards her and now I'm directly looking at her face that was inches away from mine, our nose almost touching_

"_Maybe, it's because after all you're hoping and waiting, it isn't love anymore that you were feeling, maybe that feeling you have now is only for the closure, for the both of you to end everything, for him to finally end your waiting for the promise he made that night" I told her while looking directly into her hazel eyes._

"_Maybe… well thank you so much Natsume!" she ended our conversation and she kissed me in the cheeks to say her gratitude, with this I slightly brush and went unnoticed by her._

_**Mikan's POV**_

_After what Natsume told me I finally realized that what he said might actually be true, all I needed was closure between us for me to finally let go, and what happened today was the closure I have been waiting for._

"_Maybe… well thank you so much Natsume!" I thanked Natsume then I kissed him on the cheeks as a sign of my gratitude, I really didn't know what got over me that I kissed him so I bowed my head from embarrassment as we were still in each others embrace, I slightly blushed but I quickly hide it, I was just really thankful to Natsume that he was there to comfort me, someone who protected me when I was so vulnerable._

_What is this I'm feeling for Natsume, I have seen a different side of him that makes me like him, but I know for sure for now this isn't love yet, just admiration and gratefulness for what he have done for me. _

_End of Flashback_

_**You couldn't say  
Needed someone new  
And you actually thought  
Deep inside I knew**_

Then suddenly what happened this morning came back to me, how Natsume flirted with Luna, how he told me that he can do and say whatever he wants and whenever he wants.

_**I wonder where we will go  
Will we be the same  
(You passed me by)  
I laugh inside I think of you  
And the love we made  
(You passed me by)**_

When I think about it after all that happened, isn't our love enough? Is Natsume getting tired of me? Is he regretting having me in his life? Am I being to clingy, jealous or childish just like what _**he**_ said?

_**Tell me why this should suffice  
I hold you through the night  
Now will I let it go  
Soon I'll let it go**_

Maybe, just maybe all of it will be the same as that day, but what hurts now is that I really, really loved Natsume, and what hurts more is that just the yesterday we were so happy chatting together and now he found another.

_**Can you hear me cry  
(Will you ask yourself why)  
Can you hear me cry  
(Will you ask yourself how)  
Can you hear me cry  
(Will you ask yourself)  
Will we ever grow apart**_

He should have at least the guts to tell me directly that he didn't love me anymore rather than displaying that act in front of me and everyone else, why can't he do what he said to me previously, at least he could have ended it with me directly so we can have our so called "_**closure**_", then maybe it wouldn't hurt this much.

_**You, I'll stand by your side  
I'll be there for you  
(You passed me by)  
You, I'll stand by your side  
Please just do me right  
(You passed me by)**_

After standing in the middle of the sidewalk for too much time, I went out of my reverie and looked at the sky, it was about to rain, and it seems the heaven is comforting me. I continued my walk, as I crossed the street I can hear a voice, a very familiar voice, the voice of Natsume calling my name.

"Mikan, Mikan, where are you?" Natsume was shouting my name from a distance

As if an instant reaction I tilted my head to where the voice was coming, it was from the opposite side of the street, the signal lights are red so he couldn't walk pass thru the traffic, my eyes met his crimson eyes which were filled with worry and regret.

When I saw the signal lights changing, on instant reflex I run away from him.

"No, I don't want to see him yet, what happened a while ago still hurts" I thought while I keep on running

"Mikan, please stop, can we just talk for a while" I hear Natsume shouting from a distance but I know he is almost near as he rushed to get to me and I know I'm slowing down not that I intended but because of my current condition – my weak heart.

"Maybe, this will be the time for closure, the one he talked about years ago, maybe I need to end this for him, maybe he wants his freedom back, since I love him so much and I want him to be happy, I will let him go" I thought while I slowly lessen my pace.

As I stopped I came to see where my feet led me to, it was in the park where there are lot of Sakura trees, its is our favorite place, mine and Natsume's where we will just sit back and enjoy the view of the Sakura petals flying around, as I turned around the cold wind blew past me and blew my long wavy hair and as usual the Sakura petals were flying around giving a comforting feeling I saw Natsume in a distance panting, his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath then he stood up and faced me.

"Mikan, can we please talk for a while" Natsume said while slowly walking towards me and still catching his breath

I smiled at Natsume; I can feel my body was at its limit from all the running and all the emotional stress I've been encountering today

"Not now, I need to give Natsume his freedom, he needs this closure so he can move on even if I go, just another minute" I thought to my self while I keep myself steady trying my all to not cry and give him the last smile for his freedom.

I tilted my head upwards and faced him, he was still in a short distance but that was enough for him to hear what I will say, this is all for his happiness I thought and with the sincerest smile and all my love I faced him but still I cannot stop my tears to fall as I was about to let him go.

"Natsume, I have been thinking about everything you said, and I realized I have been keeping you from your freedom so now I'll let you go, I'm giving you your freedom Natsume... I wish you would be happy now… I Loved you Natsume and I always will, you will always be in my heart" I said then everything was went black.

_**You, I'll stand by your side  
I'll be there for you**_

_**To be continued…**_

_**...**_

_**Song: Hear me cry by Utada Hikaru**_


	4. Chapter 4: Regrets

**Sorry for the delayed update, I was too much caught up with work that I have no time to update my story, hope you like it...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of its Characters**

**Chapter 4: Regrets **

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**Natsume's POV**

I was pacing back and forth for almost an hour in front of the Emergency Room, waiting for the lights to turn off to signal that the operation was already over.

Realizing that it won't make any difference if I keep on pacing, I decided to sit and think back of what happened earlier.

_Flashback_

_All of us were sitting quietly in the living room, no one even tried to ease the tension building up ever since my argument with Mikan in lobby._

_As the apartment door open, I quickly scanned all the people that entered, waiting anxiously for my Mikan to enter so I can grab her In our room and talk and apologize to her in private, but all I saw were angry faces of Youichi, my mom and Hotaru, the sad faces of Sumire, Nonoko and Anna and lastly the grimaced look from Mikan's mom._

_"Oi Imai, where is that little girl?" I asked Hotaru of Mikan's where about_

_"Don't you go using that tone with me Hyuuga, and why the hell should I tell you where she is? So you can hurt her again?" said Hotaru in an angry tone_

_"Just tell me where the hell is Mikan, I have the right to know damn it?" I snapped and raised my voice as I asked Hotaru where Mikan is, I'm getting really worried about her and I really want to say sorry_

_"Don't go using that tone to Hotaru-nee Natsume-nii, you hurt already hurt my nee-chan and that is unforgivable" Youichi told me with an angry voice_

_"Right?, you're saying you have the right to know where she is claiming you're her boyfriend, but what I saw in the lobby and from you're argument, I can say that from then on, you don't have any right to call her as your girlfriend, maybe you should just cut all your relations with her and let her be, then you flirt with that slut Koizumi all you want!" Hotaru told me with venom and pure anger in her voice_

_I was taken a back by her words; everyone was silent as Hotaru made her way to the window while saying all those words to me, it made me speechless, I know she's right, the way I acted a while ago doesn't really give me the right to be Mikan' boyfriend but I really want to say sorry to Mikan, I didn't really mean everything I did at the lobby._

_"It's about to rain, that Baka doesn't have any umbrella… She's outside taking a stroll better follow her and bring an umbrella… bring her back safe and sound, you better apologize to her when you find her, I better see her smiling when she comes back with you, go now… before it's too late" Hotaru said in a calm manner, but the last part almost a whisper, everyone was puzzled on what she said on the last part but I have no time to waste._

_End of Flashback_

Thinking about what happened in the apartment and the last words that Hotaru whispered that I ignored, everything made sense, her words now kept ringing in my head "_… before it's too late"_ so this is what she means something was wrong with Mikan and I will find it out after the operation, for now Mikan has to survive.

As I wait there for the operation to be finished, everyone that I left in the apartment came running towards me, as they halted in front of me they kept asking me questions.

"What happened" Youichi demanded but it was written on his face that he was really worried

"My daughter, where is she, what happened to her?" Mikan's mom asked, remorse and worry etched on her face

Everyone was still asking where and what happened to Mikan, but what caught my attention was what Hotaru asked

"Tell me what happened when you found her" she demanded so I started telling her everything from the moment I left the apartment.

_Flashback_

_Natsume's POV_

_As I dashed out of the apartment and into the elevator on my way to find my Mikan all I was thinking was how I will apologize to her , I want her to come back to me, I want her in my arms and smiling at me. _

_As I run around the city, I keep on getting this weird feeling that something was really wrong, something the words from Hotaru was bugging me "… before it's too late", I have to find Mikan as soon as possible._

_I was shouting her name, hoping she would hear me and let me explain and hoping she accept my apology._

"_Mikan, Mikan, where are you?" I continued on shouting as I near the street, the signal lights were red so I was not able to cross the street, I looked pass the street and saw an auburn-haired girl, that I recognize was Mikan, she halted on her tracks, "Maybe she heard me calling her" I thought_

_Mikan turned around, her hazel eyes full of confusion and hurt met my crimson eyes which was full of worry and regret._

_At that moment, time has stopped and when both of us realized that the lights turned green, when I was about to walk towards her, she run away._

_"Mikan, please stop, can we just talk for a while" I shouted while still running after her, I was almost near her as I was really doing my best to catch up with her but it's not really that I was going faster, I was running at the same speed as before but it's the fact that she was slowing down, maybe she will talk to me now._

_I saw her stop, when I looked around what I saw was a beautiful scenery, we were at park where a lot of Sakura trees, it is my and Mikan's favourite place where we always sit back and enjoy the view of the Sakura petals flying around, as I look at her turn around, I was caught on the sight in front of me, as Mikan turned around the cold wind blew past her, it blew her long wavy hair together with the Sakura petals flying around circling her, the sight caught my breath and is very comforting, I was still panting after the long run but I cannot help but look at the beautiful sight in front of me._

"_She's so beautiful, how could I have hurt her" was all I can think about_

"_Mikan, can we please talk for a while" I said as I slowly made my way towards her_

_Mikan tilted her head up and faced me as I was already a short distance towards her, I can see her face clearly she was smiling her sincerest smile but what caught my eyes was she was also crying. I was about to talk to her when she spoke._

_"Natsume, I have been thinking about everything you said, and I realized I have been keeping you from your freedom so now I'll let you go, I'm giving you your freedom Natsume... I wish you would be happy now… I Loved you Natsume and I always will, you will always be in my heart" was what she said, no this can't be happening, Mikan can't break-up with me._

_When I was about to talk to her, I saw she was closing her eyes and was falling, so on instant reflex I run to her to catch her before she completely fall and hit her head._

"_Mikan, Mikan, wake up, what happened, Mikan, please open your eyes" I was shouting and calling her name asking her to wake up, I panicked and so worried, Mikan was not opening her eyes, and I didn't notice that because of that I was already crying hugging her body._

_As I realized that it was not time to panick, I picked her up and called for a taxi_

"_Take us to the hospital, quick" I told the driver as I was really worried for Mikan_

_As the driver sped thru traffic, I was stroking Mikan's hair as she lay on my lap, I was getting really worried as I saw her breathing getting slower._

"_Could you hurry up a little bit more, this is an emergency, just step on it please" I was already shouting at the driver but I know he understands my situation._

"_Mikan, please don't do this, I love you so much, don't leave me, please open you eyes" I whispered to her as I kissed her lips lightly and my tears falling down her cheeks._

_As we arrived at the hospital I quickly paid the taxi driver and carried Mikan inside the hospital, as I reached the receiption area I practically shouted help._

"_Anyone, please help, my girlfriend needs urgent attention" I shouted, no more tears can be traced from my face_

"_What happened here?" a doctor said, when I looked at him I recognized him as Hotaru's older brother, Dr. Subaru Imai_

"_She fainted… after she broke up with me" I said, the last words a whisper but I knew he heard it, when I looked up to him his face showed worry, and immediately he called the nurses and told them to bring Mikan to the emergency/operating room. I think he already knows Mikan's condition even without giving her a check-up as he already ordered the nurses what to do, but to my shock was why the emergency/operating room._

"_What, why the emergency room?" was all I can ask_

"_Explanations later Natsume, for now Mikan's already in danger, we have to save her" was Dr. Imai's words before he rushed inside the emergency room leaving me behind pacing back and forth waiting for the lights to turn off to signal that the operation was over._

_End of Flashback_

"That was all that happened, until now" I said to Hotaru

"Now tell me, what is wrong with Mikan?" I asked, I really need to know

With that question, everyone stared at Hotaru waiting for her reply, I know she knows something judging from her words in the apartment.

"So that was what happened, I shouldn't have let her go walk around herself, no… I shouldn't have allowed you to go after her" was what Hotaru said with regrets in her voice, but I really need to know what was wrong with Mikan so my temper snapped

"Damn Hotaru, just answer my question, I know you know what is wrong with Mikan, just tell it now, please tell what's wrong with her" I shouted at first but soon turned into pleading, I was really worried about her and I don't care if my pride goes down the drain, I really loved her.

"Don't you dare use that tone with me Hyuuga, you have no right or whatsoever to shout at me, in the first place, this was all your fault, no not only you, this was also your fault Aunt Yuka. You really want to know what the hell is wrong with MY bestfriend" Hotaru was now shouting, her voice filled with anger and sorrow, everyone was quiet, even if I want to speak, I want her to finish what she was about to say

"Well, for everyone of you to know, especially you Hyuuga and Aunt Yuka, Mikan has a weak heart, it was already diagnosed months ago when she fainted when you two had a small fight Hyuuga and she came to me crying, she won't be able to bear any emotional stress or her heart won't be able to take it as what my brother explained to me. My brother already told Mikan that she needed an open heart operation and it was supposed to be scheduled by next week, but noooo… everything went falling when you Aunt Yuka, kept on ignoring Mikan like she wasn't your daughter, that you didn't even want her, and you Hyuuga, I thought you were the smart one, you didn't even notice all this time that Mikan was sick, and you pull off that stunt this morning with Koizumi in front of Mikan, what do you think she will feel, you destroyed her Hyuuga, you were the last person she needed to hurt her that will make her give up her reason for living and going thru this operation. Now see what you have done, even if she undergo this operation, her reason to get thru this was already gone, base on your story, before she blacked out, she gave yo your freedom, meaning she already gave up her life for you, If she doesn't comeback to me alive, if I don't see her smiling again, I won't forgive you Hyuuga" was the longest words that Hotaru spoke, at first she was angry but at the end I know she was also hurt and was already crying.

Ruka went beside her and comforted his girlfriend.

"What have I done, I was a bad mother, how could I do this to my daughter, I'm the worst, Mikan I'm so sorry, please get well soon, I will make it up to you just comeback please" was Aunt Yuka's words of regrets.

"Onee-chan, please be safe, please comeback to us" I heard Youichi say both him and Aoi were crying.

"Mikan, I'm so sorry, please forgive me… I don't know what I will do without you, I will win you back just please comeback to us" was all I can think about as we silently waited for Dr. Imai to come out of the operating room.

"Please Mikan, I didn't mean any of those things I did this morning, I really regret hurting you, just be alive and safe, I promise you I'll make up for every wrong I have done, just please, please be alright" again were my thoughts while praying for everything to be alright.

As we waited for another hour, the lights of the operating room turned off, all of us stood up, and went near the door waiting for Dr. Imai to come out, as the door opened I quickly confronted Dr. Imai.

"Tell us, what happened, is Mikan OK, where is she? Can we see her?" I asked Dr. Imai in a very worried voice

"Nii-san tell us, is Mikan going to be alright, is she fine? Did the operation went well?" Hotaru asked her older brother

Everyone was standing still waiting for his reply, when he spoke all of us were delighted but soon turned sad

"The operation went well, Mikan is alive but… she is now on a coma, her will power to wake up is very low, we will now transfer her to the ICU, for now you can't see her, but tomorrow you can visit her, but only one person is allowed inside the ICU" was what Dr. Imai said before leaving…

**To be Continued…**


	5. Chapter 5: The Right Decision?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of its Characters**

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**Chapter 5: The Right Decision?**

_Previously…_

_"The operation went well, Mikan is alive but… she is now on a coma, her will power to wake up is very low, we will now transfer her to the ICU, for now you can't see her, but tomorrow you can visit her, but only one person is allowed inside the ICU" was what Dr. Imai said before leaving…_

**Natsume's POV**

As I caress Mikan's pale hands, as I watch her shallow breathing, as the only sound I hear is the beeping sound coming from the machine, the only thing that made me sure that I still have Mikan, that her heart was still beating, I can't help but blame myself for everything she's going thru right now.

A week has already passed since that incident, since that night that Dr. Imai told us that Mikan was on a coma. It has already been a week and Mikan still didn't give a sign that she'll wake up soon.

How could I be so stupid and not notice everything that's been going on with her, how can I be so stupid to hurt her after all the love and loyalty she has shown and given to me.

These are all the thoughts running in my mind…

If she wakes up… no when she wakes up, I'm going to set everything right… I won't accept that break up… I didn't agree to that break up Mikan, before you decide everything you still need my answer to your decision…

These are some of the words I need to tell her personally.

Everyday I'll go to her room and talk to her, as I know people on a coma can still hear everything being told to them, so that is what I'm doing, telling her stories, talking to her, telling her I truly love her and she has to come back to me so we can talk things over…

Today is like previous days, I'm sitting here besides her bed and still caressing her hand.

"You know what Polka, you are really unfair or should I say you are selfish" I started telling her

"How could you keep those important things from me, I know that you don't want me to worry about you but I have the right to know, I'm your fiancé, I love you, you don't have to suffer or go thru all of these alone, why didn't you tell me about your condition?" I told her, I was slightly angry at her for keeping her condition secret from me, but still I can't stay mad at her especially I know that she didn't want me to worry for her…

"I'm sorry Mikan, I didn't mean to be angry, I know it could have been better if I didn't do anything stupid and hurt you" I apologized to her..

"Well Polka, I need to go now, I still have work to do, I'll see you again tomorrow" I bade her goodbye

As I opened the door and about to go out, I thought I heard something that made me stop and look back

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to treat me differently like a sick person, I don't want you to love me out of pity" was the words I heard, it was a very low whisper but I'm sure I heard it come from Mikan.

I quickly went back and examine her, but there was no sign that she was awake, I must have been imagining all those things I heard, but for the record, even if I knew her situation, I will not love her out of pity, I will love her as I loved her previously, these will be the words I'll be telling her when she wakes up…

I kissed her forehead and I headed to the door again on my way to work.

As I closed the door, I failed to notice that Mikan started moving her hands and she really spoke that time until it was too late, where everything around me will go crumbling down as I will lose her and maybe not see her ever again.

**Normal POV**

After an hour when Natsume left Mikan to go to work, Hotaru came by to visit her best friend to also talk to her and give her strength to come to her.

As she entered the room and arrange the flowers she brought with her, a moment later she heard a voice...

"Ho..ta..ru.." Mikan whispered, as Hotaru heard this she turned to look at Mikan and she was shocked and tears slowly flowed down her violet eyes as she saw Mikan slowly opening her eyes and moving her fingers.

"Ho..ta..ru.." again Mikan whispered in an unsteady tone.. this snapped Hotaru out of her trance and quickly rushed to Mikan's side after pressing the button to call for the doctor…

"Yes Mikan, I'm here, how are you, are you feeling any pain? I'm so worried about you, you Baka.." Hotaru told Mikan as she completely disregard her stoic façade and let Mikan know that she love her very much as her best friend and she is really worried about her, and this caused Mikan to give her best friend Hotaru a small smile.. but this small smile also made Hotaru smile as now she knows that her best friend is going to be fine..

"Ho..ta..ru…" Mikan started talking but Hotaru cut her before she finished her sentence..

"Shhhh.. Mikan.. don't talk yet, wait for Onii-san to examine you, you just woke up after a week in coma and you still need to rest, you don't have enough energy" Hotaru told her

"Hotaru… do..don't… te..tell… Nat..su..me… I… I'm… al..rea..dy… awa..ke… ple..ple..ase…" Mikan told Hotaru her request even if she still having difficulty in talking…

"Are you sure Mikan? You know he has been very worried about you, after your operation he was the one that insisted that he'll stay here and look after you, and every morning he comes here to visit and talk to you while you are still in a coma, he looks so miserable Mikan, he truly loves you and I know you love him as much, so why are you hurting both Natsume and yourself?" Hotaru told Mikan as he was very worried about the two, or maybe worried about Mikan only, she knows that Mikan loves Natsume so much that is why she kept the details of her illness from him…

"Ho..ta..ru.. I.. I'm.. not… yet… rea..dy.. to.. fa..face.. him.. I'm… sti..still… hu..rt.. Ho..ta..ru.. " Mikan told Hotaru, and before Hotaru can speak again, Mikan continued what she wanted to say..

"Ho..ta..ru.. cou.. ld.. you.. ple..ple..ase… con..tact.. Unc..le… Ka..zu.. in.. am..ame..ame..ri..ca.. tell.. him.. to.. arr..ange… my.. pa..pers.. and.. tra..trans..fer.. me.. to.. his.. hos..pi..tal.. the..re.. as.. soon.. as.. pos..possi..ble.." Mikan continued now having difficulty in breathing..

"Mikan we'll talk about this later, you haven't fully recovered yet, don't talk too much" Hotaru told Mikan while again pressing the button for the doctors to come…

"Stupid doctors didn't come in a hurry when you need them" Hotaru murmured but she didn't let Mikan to hear it…

"No… Ho..ta..ru.. ple..plea..se… let.. me.. fin..fini..sh.. I.. wa..nt.. to.. st..ay.. the..re.. un..til.. I.. am.. com..ple..telly… hea..led.. and.. wh..en.. th..at.. ti..me.. co..mes.. may..be.. I'll.. be.. ab..le.. to.. fa..fa..ce.. Nat..su..me.." Mikan told Hotaru

"Is this really what you want Mikan?" Hotaru asked Mikan if she was sure about her decision a bit sad as she knows that Mikan's true happiness was with Natsume…

"Ye.. yes.. I.. I'm su..re.. and Ho..ta..ru.. cou..ld.. you.. co..me.. wi..th.. me.. to.. to.. am.. ame..ri..ca.. ju..st.. un..til.. I.. hea..led.. com..com..ple..te..lly… and.. ple.. ple..ase.. ma..ke.. su..re.. Nat..su..me.. do..nt.. kn..ow I'm.. aw..ake.. and.. where.. I'm.. go..ing.. un..til.. we..re.. go..ne.. cough.. cough.. cough…" Mikan finished what she wanted to say and Hotaru ran to her and soothed her back..

"If this is what you, then it's ok with me, you Baka.. but you'll owe me big time for this as I will be apart from bunny boy for a long time and I have to keep this from him also, as you know he is Natsume's best friend.. so he tends to tell him where we are if he knew even if I blackmail him on not telling.. " Hotaru told Mikan while she sighs and finally Dr. Subaru Imai came to check on Mikan, while Mikan is still coughing really hard and continuously..

"Baka, Onii-san.. where have you been? I already pressed the button 2 times to call you and only now you came?" Hotaru confronted her brother for being late, bringing up again her stoic façade all the while raising her eyebrow..

"Gomenasai imouto-chan, I came here as soon as I can but I have another patient I was attending to when you pressed the button" Dr. Subaru told his sister

"Stupid Onii-san don't add chan when you're talking to me, it's embarrassing, I'm not a little girl like this Baka there you know, anyways, just take a look at her and you to sign some papers for her release" Hotaru said to her brother

"What? What do you mean I have to sign papers for her release, I can't allow Mikan-chan to be released immediately when she just woke up from her coma today after her operation, she will still be under observation" Dr. Subaru explained while checking on Mikan.

"Su..Su..ba..ru.. sem..pai.. ple..ple..ase.. all..ow.. my.. rel..ease.." Mikan told Dr. Subaru

"Shhh.. Mikan-chan.. you're not supposed to talk yet, you haven't fully recovered. I'm really sorry but I can't grant your request of release" Dr. Subaru explained to Mikan

"Baka onii-san, she will be transferred to America at her uncle's hospital, if you want, you can accompany us in going there so you would be assured that she will be fine while travelling there, she will also sign, no I mean I will videotape her for her waiver as she still can't right properly" Hotaru explained to her brother.

"If that's the case, alright then, I will be accompanying the both of you to check on Mikan-chan's status until she is safely settled on America, so when will we be leaving?" Dr. Subaru told both Mikan and Hotaru and at the same time asked the question

"We will be leaving tonight, an hour before Natsume's usual time of visit" Hotaru told Dr. Subaru, he was about to butt-in to ask why when Hotaru beat him to it by raising her hand in front of his face shushing him up and explaining

"This Baka over here requested that the other Baka (Natsume) should not know that she is already awake and that she will be living, she said that she isn't ready yet to face him and she'll come back when she is completely healed and is ready to talk things with him" Hotaru explained

"Are you sure about you're decision Mikan? Natsume has been here everyday, talking and taking care of you, wouldn't it be better for him to know you are already awake?" Dr. Subaru explained to Mikan while she just nod her head saying no.

"Well, if that is your decision. Very well, I need to pack my things and file a leave for 1 week for this trip" Dr. Subaru said about to leave when Hotaru stopped him with her words

"No need Onii-san, I already filed your leave a while ago, while you're talking to this Baka I already sent the request thru email and as you know they immediately agreed" Hotaru told her brother that made him speechless for a minute

"Very well then, I'll take my leave now. See you both later!" Dr. Subaru told about to exit but looked back to clarify something with his sister

"I assume you have already arranged all our plane tickets and the ambulance that will be transporting Mikan from here to the airport?" Dr. Subaru said which receive him a nod from Hotaru saying she have already arranged everything

"As usual, I have a very dependable imouto. See you later then!" Dr. Subaru said then left the room

"I have already emailed your Uncle Kazu and he replied that everything will be arranged for your arrival, the ambulance to take you from the airport to his hospital, the room where you will be staying in the hospital and everything that you will need for your fast recovery. Now, we will be leaving at exactly 5pm here, still an hour before Natsume's usual time of visit. Are you sure, you don't want to talk to him or leave him something that will at least let him worry less about you" Hotaru told Mikan

"May..be.. aahh…mmm.. Ho..ta..ru.. cou..ld.. you.. ple..ple..ase.. do.. me.. ano..ther.. fav..our..?" Mikan asked Hotaru

"What is it Baka?" Hotaru asked and went neat Mikan as Mikan explained to her the little favour she need

"Is that all?" Hotaru asked while Mikan nodded giving her a weak smile the slowly turning her head and looking out the view from her window

"I'm gonna miss this place, and I already miss you now Natsume" Mikan though while a tear escaped her eyes which didn't go unnoticed by Hotaru

"Baka, why are you doing this to yourself, you have suffered enough, I know you love him and even if he is a jerk most of the time, I know he loves you too… I really hope you're making the right decision Mikan.." Hotaru thought while watching her best friend silently weep while staring at nothing.

* * *

_**To be continued…**_


	6. Chapter 6: Till we meet again

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of its Characters**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Till we meet again**

_Previously..._**  
**

"_I'm gonna miss this place, and I already miss you now Natsume" Mikan though while a tear escaped her eyes which didn't go unnoticed by Hotaru_

"_Baka, why are you doing this to yourself, you have suffered enough, I know you love him and even if he is a jerk most of the time, I know he loves you too… I really hope you're making the right decision Mikan.." Hotaru thought while watching her best friend silently weep while staring at nothing._

* * *

**Normal POV**

"Are you ready Mikan?" Hotaru asked Mikan as they were about to leave the hospital. Mikan only nodded implying that she is ready to leave but her actions shows otherwise.

**Hotaru's POV**

"Are you ready Mikan?", I asked her and she only nodded in reply saying that she is ready to go, but I know that look anywhere, I have been with her thru good times and bad times and I know she is not happy with her decision, but I will not say anything, I'll let her make her own decision and just be there for her whenever she needs me.

Even though it hurts me to see her like that, staring into nothing beyond those windows, I know deep inside her, she was hoping that someone, that Natsume will come running there, hug her, kiss her, and stop her from making this kind of decision.

After about 5 minutes, I have already arranged all her things (not that much as I may say) that we need to take, I heard her sigh and she looked at me.

"I'm.. rea..dy.. Ho..ta..ru.. let's.. go.. now.." She told me, then I went closer to her and pushed the wheelchair where she is currently sitting. We took one last look on the room she had been in for the past 1 week and then we made our exit.

"Where are you Natsume? I know your at fault, but I also know you're the only one that can make her happy, come quick before it's too late" I thought to myself, I haven't told anyone about Mikan's decision and our departure, I even threatened to blackmail my Onii-san on not telling anyone especially Natsume and Ruka about this, and I haven't even called Ruka that I'm leaving for sometime but I'll just call him when we get to America, but I really hope, deep inside that Hyuuga will come and stop Mikan.

**Mikan's POV**

"Are you ready Mikan?" I heard Hotaru ask me while she is packing the things I have when I was here in the hospital, I only nodded to her in confirming that I am ready while I stare into nothing outside that window.

"I'm not yet ready, I want to see Natsume, I don't want to go, I want to stay here and wait for him, his hugs, his kisses! Where are you Natsume? Why aren't you coming to stop me from leaving?" These are all the thoughts inside my head, while I stare outside silently waiting, hoping that he'll come and stop me, I know I already decided but I really love him and if he comes and say he loves me, I know I won't be able to leave.

"I'm.. rea..dy.. Ho..ta..ru.. let's.. go.. now.." I told Hotaru after about 5 minutes of waiting, Hotaru zipped the bag where she currently put all my belongings and she walked towards me. Pushing the wheelchair I'm currently sitting on, we took a last look at the hospital room where I have stayed for 1 week and then we made our exit.

"Where are you Natsume? Are you really not coming?" Still these are the thoughts that keep on repeating inside my head as we made our way to Subaru-senpai's office.

When we are about to enter his office, that was the time he came out with his few belongings needed for my check-up when we're currently on our flight to our destination.

"Imouto-chan, I thought you said you have already arrange for the ambulance to take Mikan to the airport, so why is there no ambulance in front of the hospital?" I heard Subaru-senpai ask Hotaru.

"Baka Onii-san, Mikan can already sit properly, she doesn't need a stretcher or to lie while we travel to the airport, I have already arranged a vehicle and I will be sitting beside this Baka at the back, so when she needs to lie down when she gets tired I can assist her" Hotaru answered monotonously

"And for the last time, **don't call me Imouto-CHAN, **or you will really taste the upgraded version of my Baka Gun" Hotaru told Subaru-senpai as she emphasized the words that gets her irritated.

"So **HO..TA..RU.. – CHAN…** where is this vehicle that you have arranged?" Subaru-senpai asked Hotaru, I can see her eyebrows twitch as he called her again really teasing her with the CHAN part.

"**I TOLD YOU DON"T ADD –CHAN WHEN YOU CALL ME!" **Hotaru told as she raised her voice and fired her Baka gun aiming for Subaru-senpai but as usual, Subaru-senpai has great reflexes and has dodged it swiftly.

"And for the vehicle, here it comes!" Hotaru told as we were amazed that she has arranged a limousine.

"I'm not a show-off neither am I over reacting, I know that this is the most comfortable ride for Mikan as the vehicle is spacious so if she gets tired, there's a lot of space to lie down" Hotaru explained to us.

"Tha..nks.. Ho..ta..ru.. you..'re.. rea..lly.. the.. be..st.." I told her as I gave her my sincerest smile showing how I appreciated everything she has done and are currently doing for me. I know my request for her to come with me is a big sacrifice especially she has to keep it a secret from Ruka-pyon and she has to leave him for a couple of days or maybe months but I know Ruka-pyon will understand. I'm really thankful that she is my best friend and I know even if she is always stoic and keeping that cold façade, Hotaru cares so much for me.

"Let's go!" Hotaru told us and she asked some male nurses to carry me inside the vehicle, soon after she followed after thanking the male nurses, then Subaru-senpai sat in the front. It was only a short distance to the airport but Hotaru told the driver to be careful in driving as I'm still on the healing process.

**Natsume's POV**

As I'm currently at work, I have this weird feeling that something is terribly wrong, that something bad is going to happen, so I quickly finished all the reports and documents I have to sign and I made my way to the hospital 30 minutes earlier than my usual visiting hour to check how Mikan is doing.

Currently it's 05:30pm and I already arrived at the hospital still this weird feeling keeps bugging me.

"Mikan, please be alright, hang-on for me!" I silently chant as I made my way to Mikan's room, when I got there and as I entered the room, I panicked as I saw no one in the bed and the room has already been cleaned. I run to the nurses' station and demand to know where Mikan is.

"Where is the patient in room 159?" I asked the nurse on duty

"The patient has been released Sir!" The nurse answered me in a flirting way which irritated me more.

"Damn it, how can she be released, did she already wake-up?" I asked her again now raising my voice as I'm losing my temper if I don't know where Mikan is.

"I'm so sorry Sir, but we cannot disclose any information regarding the patient due to strict order from her Doctor!" the nurse answered me still in a flirting way.

"I'm her boyfriend Damn it, SHE CANNOT BE RELEASED WITHOUT HER MOTHER OR BROTHER OR MY CONSENT OR… I NEED TO SEE DR. IMAI, WHERE IS HIS OFFICE?" I demanded the nurse, she already got scared as I was already shouting, but in the middle of my rant I remembered something, Mikan can be released with the consent of her most trusted best-friend Hotaru Imai, so I demanded to see her Hotaru's brother, Mikan's doctor to be precise.

"I.. I'm.. so..sorry Sir, but Dr. Imai is currently on leave starting this afternoon!" the nurse answered me while she stuttered out of fear and she immediately backed away and attended to something else.

"I know this is all Imai's doing, I need to call Ruka, for sure he knows where his girlfriend is" Natsume murmured as he went his way to his car and he took his phone and dialled his best friend, Ruka's number.

Ring.. ring.. ring.. After the rd ring Ruka picked up the phone

"Hello, Ruka speaking how may I help you!" Ruka answered in a very polite manner.

"Ruka!" I said

"Oh, Natsume, how are you? What can I help you with?" Ruka asked

"Ruka, do you know where Imai is right now?" I asked him

"No, Hotaru haven't contacted me since this morning, is there any problem Natsume?" Ruka asked, worry was evident in his voice

"Your girlfriend just happened to consent the release of Mikan from the hospital, and I don't even know where they are, even her brother, Mikan's Doctor was currently on leave starting this afternoon, isn't that a bit suspicious?" I told Ruka

"Are you sure this is Hotaru's doing, have you asked Aunt Yuka or Youichi if they have already visited and consented the discharge of Mikan?" Ruka told me and I'm beginning to lose my temper again

"Ruka, just this morning, I visited Mikan and she was still in a coma, there is no way that Aunt Yuka or Youichi will consent Mikan's discharge even if she already woke up as she still needs rest and should be under observation as she just had an operation, and don't you think it's quite obvious and really suspicious that at the same day that Mikan got discharged her Doctor, which happens to be your girlfriend's older brother is currently on leave?" I explained to him

"Well, that makes sense, wait, I'll try to call Hotaru… ah no need, she's already calling just hold the line ok Natsume" Ruka told me as I hold the line and try to listen on what will be their conversation.

"Hello Hotaru, how are you, I'm currently on the other line with Natsume, do you happen to be with Sakura right now?" I heard Ruka ask Imai on the phone

"WHAT?" I heard Ruka shout, I don't like what I'm hearing from him.

"But where are you going?" I heard him ask. "Going?, the hell, they are leaving but to where?" I panic as I thought of Mikan leaving.

"Ok, it's your decision Hotaru, I understand, just come back as soon as possible ok! I love you!" I heard Ruka say as he cut the line with Imai "The hell, come back as soon as possible, so they are going to be away for an unknown time" Again the thoughts in my head that keeps on repeating.

"So Ruka, is Mikan with Imai? Where are they, where are they going, and for how long, I heard you when you told her to come back as soon as possible! Speak up Ruka, I need answers!" I questioned him and demanded answers immediately when I heard him gulp, signalling that what he is about to say is bad news

"Ahhmm.. I don't know how to say this Natsume, but I'm very sorry, I didn't really get any information on where they are going and how long will they be gone, but Hotaru told me that she can't even tell me as for sure I will be telling you where they will be, she's taking Sakura for now for her fast recovery and away from you so you won't be able to hurt her anymore, and that this is what Sakura wants.. but she told me to tell you that Sakura is fine and she already woke up this afternoon and was the one who asked to be taken away. But I know for sure that they are currently on the airport boarding their plane. I'm really sorry about this Natsume" I heard Ruka explain, I was happy that Mikan already woke up but at the same time sad and panic came over me, Mikan requested for Hotaru to take her away from me, she's afraid that I'll hurt her even more. I need to catch up to her. I need to stop her from leaving. No she can't leave me, I love her so much.

"Natsume… Natsume… are you still there?" I heard Ruka asked that snapped me out of my trance

"Yeah, still here.. Ruka I need to go.. I need to catch up to them in the airport. Bye!" I told Ruka

"Ok, good luck Natsume and I hope you catch up with them and make-up with Sakura" Ruka said then I ended the phone and was about to speed up again on my way to the airport when a video message was received on my phone. I checked from where it's from and it shocked me that it's from Mikan so I immediately opened wand watched it.

"Nat..su..me, as you are wa..tc..hing th..is vi..deo now, I'm al..rea..dy on my way to so..me..whe..re you do..n't ha..ve to kn..ow. I'm do..ing th..is for my fa..st re..co..ve..ry and al…so to be aw..ay fr..om you, I kn..ow I mi..ght be sel..fi..sh by bri..ngi..ng Ho..ta..ru wi..th me and as..ki..ng her to be aw..ay fr..om Ru..ka-py..on but for now I nee..d her be..si..de me to be my stre..ngth and sup..po..rt whi..ch I can..not ta..ke fr..om you an..y..mo..re." I paused the video, I know what whe will say will definitely hurt but I need to see and hear all that she wanted to say, I also noticed that she was still having a hard time talking and that she made this video especially for me to watch so I played it again and continued watching

"I hea..rd eve..ry..thi..ng you sa..id wh..en I was sti..ll in a co..ma, ev..en if you sa..id you lov..ed me, I ca..n't sti..ll ig..no..re the fee..li..ng of hu..rt by wh..at you ha..ve do..ne, I kn..ow you sa..id I was sel..fi..sh, but I di..dn't wa..nt you to tre..at me dif..fe..ren..tly so I ke..pt my con..di..tio..n from you, I ha..ve lo..ved you Nat..su..me, mo..re th..an you wi..ll ev..er kn..ow? Is..n't it en..ough th..at you ha..ve to trea..t me li..ke tha..t? It see..ms tha..t I wa..s sti..ll no..t goo..d eno..ugh for you, th..at wh..at I ga..ve sti..ll was..n't eno..ugh for you tha..t you fi..na..lly ga..ve in and go..t tir..ed of me. I ha..ve lo..ved, al..wa..ys lo..ved and sti..ll lo..ve you Nat..su..me wi..th all my hea..rt, but the hu..rt I'm fee..li..ng ri..ght now is kee..pi..ng me aw..ay fro..m you. As I sa..id be..fo..re, be..fo..re I fain..te..d, I'm let..ti..ng you go. I wi..ll let you fi..nd yo..ur ha..ppi..ne..ss wi..th some..one el..se whe..n you ca..n't fi..nd it wi..th me, tha..t's how mu..ch I lo..ve you! I do..n't wa..nt to kee..p you fro..m wha..t you wan..te..d to do or fro..m who..m you wa..nt to be with. I wa..nt to al..way..s see you ha..ppy. So goo..d..bye now Nat..su..me, ti..ll we mee..t ag..ain. I lo..ve you Nat..su..me. Yo..ur Pol..ka!" As I finished watching the video message Mikan sent to me, I haven't noticed that I was already crying, I can't feel but hurt and regret, this was all due to my stupid pride that I losing my one and only love.

I tried calling her mobile but it was already switched off, and her voice mail was turned off so I cannot leave any voice mail for her to receive my message.

I have done the same thing that she did, I recorded a video on my phone, the message I want her to know.

I hope it will reach her, I hope she will receive and watch this video.

I hope that she'll find it in her heart to forgive me again as she has always done for me.

Even though I may seem pathetic, that I am already crying while doing this video, even if she or many more will see me cry, I won't care anymore. I just wanted her back. I just want my Polka, my Mikan to be back in my arms. I will surrender all my pride just for her.

"Please forgive me Mikan!" I whispered

"I'm so sorry Mikan!" I whispered again

"You can't do this to me Mikan" I continued whispering to myself

"Come back to me Mikan!" I whispered as I silently weep

"Please Mikan, come back to me, I love you so much! Don't leave me please!" I kept on whispering while I cry.

"**MIKAN!" **I finally shouted out of hurt and remorse I was feeling all at the same time.

* * *

_**To be continued…**_


	7. Chapter 7: Bestfriends Part I

******Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of its Characters**

**Chapter 7: Bestfriends (Part I)**

_Previously…_

_I tried calling her mobile but it was already switched off, and her voice mail was turned off so I cannot leave any voice mail for her to receive my message._

_I have done the same thing that she did, I recorded a video on my phone, the message I want her to know._

_I hope it will reach her, I hope she will receive and watch this video._

_I hope that she'll find it in her heart to forgive me again as she has always done for me._

_Eve__n though I may seem pathetic, that I am already crying while doing this video, even if she or many more will see me cry, I won't care anymore. I just wanted her back. I just want my Polka, my Mikan to be back in my arms. I will surrender all my pride just for her._

"_Please forgive me Mikan!" I whispered_

"_I'm so sorry Mikan!" I whispered again_

"_You can't do this to me Mikan" I __continued whispering to myself _

"_Come back to me Mikan!" I whispered as I silently weep_

"_Please Mikan, come back to me, I love you so much! Don't leave me please!" I kept on whispering while I cry._

"_**MIKAN!" **__I finally shouted out of hurt and remorse I was feeling all at the same time._

* * *

**Mikan's POV**

It has been a month since I came here, a month ever since the day I left him, left Natsume with my goodbye but still I cannot forget him, I still love him but every time I remember all my love for him, my heart aches, it aches at the same time as it still feels all the hurt from that day.

**Hotaru's POV**

It has been a month since we came here for Mikan's recovery, and I'm sure she's recovering fast as now she can stand and walk alone and even speak clearly, but she isn't the my bestfriend anymore, she isn't the Mikan I know from before, I lost my bestfriend that day she lost her smile, the day he broke her heart and the day she left him with her goodbye.

**Natsume's POV**

It has been a month since she left, since Mikan left me with her goodbye, I'm still hurting within, she didn't even gave me another chance, but what is my pain compared to all the pain I caused her, Mikan, please, please come back, I love you so much, please come back to me. I'll change for you and for me, I won't hurt you anymore just please come back.

**Normal POV (with Mikan and Hotaru)**

"Hi Hotaru, how are you? Where have you been? Did you talk to Uncle on when I can be discharged from here?" Mikan asked Hotaru forcing her cheerful façade which she is clearly failing to do so.

"Baka, don't force yourself to smile for me, I know you better that anyone else, even better than you Mom knows you, so you can't hide what you're feeling, don't force yourself to smile as I will worry for you more, I know you're still hurting Mikan so don't hide it, ok? And about what you asked, I'm good; I just got off the phone with Ruka, I called him after I went to your Uncle's office, he said you can be discharged by next week, but you can't force yourself to do tiring work, even household chores you're still forbidden to do, ok!" Hotaru comforted her bestfriend at the same time answering Mikan's questions.

As Hotaru was telling those words to Mikan, Mikan slowly walked near the window and seated in the window sill looking far away still trying to deny what she is feeling and that what her bestfriend told her are true.

"Nani? Hotaru, I'm ok now, really, I'm fine. I'm contented now, my health's fine, I'm slowly recovering from the surgery so everything is good, I'm not forcing myself to smile ok? Well, let's forget about it ok, can we just listen to some music please!" Mikan told Hotaru, trying to reassure her bestfriend that she really is fine, as she switched on the radio and sat on the window sill looking outside but her thoughts are really far away.

**Mikan's POV**

"I really can't pretend to be happy if I'm still hurting inside, Hotaru is right as usual, but I can't let her worry about me being sad all the time so I will insist to her that I really am fine" I thought

"Nani? Hotaru, I'm ok now, really, I'm fine. I'm contented now, my health's fine, I'm slowly recovering from the surgery so everything is good, I'm not forcing myself to smile ok? Well, let's forget about it ok, can we just listen to some music please!" I told Hotaru as I reassure her that I'm fine, and then I walked near the side table and switched on the radio. After switching it on, I walked to the window and sat at the window sill staring outside with my thoughts far away while the radio is playing.

_**I recall when you said that you would never leave me  
You told me more, so much more like when the time you whispered in my ear  
There was heaven in my heart  
I remember when you said that you'd be here forever**_

"It seems that even the music knows what I feel, why do they have to play this, how can I show Hotaru that I'm fine if this song keeps on reminding me of Natsume" I thought

_**Then you left without even saying that you're leaving  
I was hurt and it really won't be easy to forget yesterday  
And I pray that you would stay  
But then you're gone and, oh, so far away**_

"It was me who left, but because I was hurt, hurt by all the things that he did and said. And all those things, happy and hurtful memories won't really be easy to forget. I really hope that I can stay beside Natsume but everytime I'm near him the pain keeps coming back, so for now I need him to be gone from my life so I left" I thought as the music is slowly getting into me and as I kept on reminiscing all our happy times together.

_**I was afraid this time would come  
I wasn't prepared to face this kind of hurtin' from within  
I have learned to live my life beside you**_

"As all our happy memories come back to me, the same goes with the memory of that painful day, I wasn't really expecting him to do that to me; of all people he was the last person aside from Hotaru that I expect to hurt me like that. Now the pain I'm feeling is twice of that day, can I really make it through without Natsume beside me, after all these years and even after the pain, I still love him so much" These are the thoughts that keeps on repeating in my head.

_**Maybe I'll just dream of you tonight  
And if into my dream you'll come and touch me once again  
I'll just keep on dreaming till my heartaches end**_

"I will try to forget him, I'll try to live my life without him, I'll just treasure all our memories together until the time comes when I'm no longer hurting" I'm again convincing myself in forgetting Natsume

"Huh? Hotaru, why?" I asked Hotaru, as the song finished same goes for my thoughts, that's when I noticed Hotaru hugging me and whispering to me.

"Sssshhhh, Mikan, please don't hurt yourself anymore, I know you're not happy, I know you still love him, let it all out you Baka. No need for you to keep it from me, cry all you want, I'm here for you ok" Hotaru whispered to me, I didn't know what she was talking about but when I touched my face it made sense, as I was having those thoughts my tears came out.

"No Hotaru, really I'm…" I was trying to convince her again when she cut me off as she placed her finger on my lips

"Sssshhhh, Mikan, I told you before and I'm telling you again, I know you better than anyone and you can't hide anything from me, even what you are feeling right now, I know I may be cold and harsh to you most of the time, but for this time, maybe just this time, let me be the bestfriend you wanted to have and let me comfort you on your loneliest time, just cry it all out, I'm here for you, I won't leave you, ok" Hotaru sincerely told me all those words as she stared right into my eyes and gave me her sincerest smile, as she finished her words I found myself hugging her and crying all my heart out.

"Oh Hotaru, Hotaru, I don't know what to do anymore, I don't think I can forget about Natsume, I love him so much Hotaru, but every time I think of him, my heart aches, as I remember that day, the day he chose to hurt me, Hotaru, I'm so confused, I can't take it anymore" I told Hotaru while crying in her arms

"Now, now Mikan, everything will go away sooner or later, and the hurt you are feeling will soon vanish, you just have to move on, by moving on you have to forgive and forget, I know you can do that, you're the nicest and strongest person I have ever met, you don't have to forget Natsume, you just have to accept what he has done and his faults, forgive him for all those things and forgetting why and that he did it, then after that you will feel refreshed and then you will find that courage in you to finally face him, when that time comes, it will be up to you to decide, if you still love him and accept him in your life again, or truly end it with him personally. I know you have already said your goodbye, but a video isn't enough to finish what the both of you have, both of you need to face each other for a proper closure, whether it ends up the two of you being together or both of you moving on and going your separate ways. Be strong Mikan ok, not only for the people who cares for you but also for yourself" Hotaru comforted me and gave me a heart warming and enlightening advise, and also, this is the longest sentence she have ever said to me.

"I'll try what you said Hotaru, I'll think carefully and try to move on, I'll try to forgive and forget everything that had hurt me." I assured Hotaru as I gave her my sincerest smile.

**Hotaru's POV**

"She smiled, the smile that she previously had came back, and soon she will come back to her previous self, I'm so glad that she'll be moving on, I really don't want to see Mikan hurting and crying again, I always wanted her to smile like that" I thought as I still stroking my bestfriend's hair, comforting her on her loneliest time

"Now that's more like it, always smile like that, you have the brightest and most beautiful smile and it suits you well, tears doesn't suit your pretty face, it's your smile, the smile that brightens up the day of everyone that suits your pretty face" I said to Mikan as I wiped her tears away.

"Yes Hotaru, I'll try to smile more often, not the same as before but I'll try to be happy again. Thanks Hotaru, you are really my bestfriend" Mikan told me as she hugged me.

"Baka, now stop hugging me, and stop being a cry baby ok, it's still not good for you to be emotionally stressed you are still under recovery" I told Mikan as she pouted upon hearing it

"Mou Hotaru, you meanie, you're back to your old self again, hehehe, well you're still the best bestfriend for me, again Hotaru, thank you" Mikan told me as she showed me her smile and I smiled a small smile for her

"Ok, settle down now, you need to rest, and by the way, after you have been released, I will be giving you your phone back, you need to see something to help you forgive, forget, move on and decide on what will you do in the future with Natsume." I told Mikan as a look of shock and confusion are showed in her face

**Mikan's POV**

"What is it Hotaru? Can't you give it to me now? Can I see it now?" I asked Hotaru of what I need to see on my phone

"No Mikan, I still can't give it to you even if I wanted to, as per your Uncle, you are still under recovery and that I can give it to you after you have been released ok, so just rest well ok, I just need to talk to someone, I'll be back after a few minutes ok" Hotaru told me as she was waiting or my answer before she completely left the room so I nodded to her and told her I understand, then she went on her way.

"I wonder what it is I need to see, well no sense in thinking over it now, I'll just wait until next week when I get discharged and Hotaru hand it over to me" I told to myself as I lay down on my bed, resting as I drift to sleep

**Hotaru's POV**

I have left Mikan's room to call on someone, as I dialled the number and I hear the ring, I waited for the other line to be picked up.

"Hello?" The person on the other line said

"Ruka, it's me Hotaru!" I told him as I answered back

"Hotaru, how are you? When are you coming back?, I miss you so much Hotaru" Ruka asked

"I'm fine, I also miss you Ruka, but seriously Ruka, asking me how am I when we just talked this morning?" I answered him

"Well, you know me Hotaru I just really miss you, a month without seeing you and I'm getting paranoid, hahaha" Ruka answered

"Well, that's so sweet of you but stop being so paranoid; I don't want to come back there seeing my boyfriend will be sent to a mental hospital ok!" I told him while I chuckled as I imagine his pouting face

"Mou Hotaru, I won't be sent to a mental hospital, that's for sure" Ruka said

"But tell me, where are you really, how's Mikan and when are the both of you really coming back?" Ruka asked seriously

"I told you Ruka, I can't tell where I am, that is a promise I made to Mikan and you know I don't make promises I can't keep, second Mikan is doing fine now, and I finally got her to smile, her real smile and third, I think we will be back there sooner than I thought. So how's Hyuuga coping up, still sulking or being the playboy that he is" I answered Ruka's questions at the same time asking regarding Natsume

"Ok I get it, I know you don't make promises you can't keep so I won't ask you anymore where you both are, about Mikan, it's good to hear that you finally made her smile, I know she's been thru a lot so it's a relief that she's trying to be cheerful again, and what do you mean by you both will be back here sooner than you think? Regarding Natsume, no he's not being a playboy, he's still down in the dumps, he won't even come out of his apartment, heck he won't even eat if I don't come there and force him, he's been really down ever since Mikan left him, she didn't even reply about the video he sent" Ruka said

"About the video, Mikan haven't seen it yet, doctor's advice as she cannot have any emotional stress for the time being as she's still under recovery so I haven't given her phone back yet, but she'll be able to see it in a week's time so tell your bestfriend to be good by then, if she still wants Mikan to come back to him, he better behave himself until she fully decides if she will forgive and accept him again or she'll really say goodbye to him, don't get his hopes up too much as Mikan is still hurt and I cannot interfere on what her decision will be." I told Ruka

"That's ok, at least that's a bit of good news for Natsume, well I'll just tell him later, I'll be dropping by his apartment later to check up on him" Ruka said

"Ok, so that's all for now, be careful ok, I miss you! I love you!" I told Ruka as I bid him goodbye

"Ok, bye Hotaru, just say hi to Mikan for me ok, you also take good care of yourself ok Hotaru, I miss you so much and I love you!" I heard Ruka say before we both hand up the phone.

"You better be prepared Hyuuga and you better behave if you want Mikan to come back to you cause if you don't I'll be the one to really take Mikan away from you, I don't want to see my bestfriend that hurt anymore" I thought

**Ruka's POV**

As I bid my goodbye to Hotaru and we both hang up the phone, I was going to get ready to go and visit Natsume, I hope this bit of news regarding Mikan gives him hope, I really hope that Mikan will forgive Natsume as I also don't want to see Natsume in that kind of state, he seems so lifeless. I better go now and slowly bring back my bestfriend's old self.

* * *

_**To be continued…**_

**Song: Ella Mae Saison - Till My Heartaches End**_**  
**_


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